every wonder how important it is to do the "right" thing rather than the easy thing?  fuck.  i'm skrewed lol. 

Fuckin Inspired.

So you know there are times when you're all feeling crappy and like you have gripes about a lot of little things?  man, I saw something that really put shit into perspective cuz you know what?  we don't have it that tough.

 i was driving and i was about to get onto the 405 S on beloit and santa monica.  while waiting at that intersection, i saw a japanese lady, probably about 45-50 who was walking across the intersection with her sight seeing dog.  i mean, the dog was a beautiful german shephard but the thing that really struck me was that, shit, she's blind and by herself, relying on a dog to get her everywhere.  she probably never had the gift of sight and to live your whole life like that in darkness, not seeing the world you live in, not being able to visualize your steps and everything else, that's real hardship.  seeing that dog wait patiently at the intersection, waiting to cross the street as the light changed, wow.  a fuckin dog.  my dog can't even sit for criss sake... really really makes you think.

where does she get the strength?  what makes her get up everyday and say, 'hey it's a beautiful day and i'm gonna do what i need to do.'  sometimes it really pisses me off that i can't do the shit i need to do even if i'm capable of doing anything i want to do.  so now, i'm fuckin inspired. 

no more excuses.


my favorite song to listen to when i drive.  enjoy.

Feelin old. For realz.

Feeling kinda old.  haha.  For those of you that remember the song, good shit for you =).

Lost -

Where am I?

I'm here but lost in the essence of my own thoughts,

my own worries and fears.

The fears of the uncertainty that the future may bring,

The tingling excitement of something new

scares me.  But I need the change. 

I need to welcome it, but its strange

To me because I can't see how it'll play out.

With this doubt in my head all I see is 

Darkness. 

Chicken shit?  maybe.  Scared of failure?

Quite possibly.  Fear of being left behind? 

Fuck yes.  Haha.  Life's a bitch, no?  It never seems to

Stop. 

Stop being a fool. 

Knowing how things play out is a cop out,

Cheating myself of the human experience. 

Of experiencing the transformation of the amalgamation

of the pieces that make me me, into a completely new being.  Transcendent

of all the fallacies that have held me back,

Suppressed. 

I know this. 

Yet I'm still afraid.  Tired.  Exhausted.

Hell, I just want to get away.

I need a drink. 

tired and exhausted... frickin unicamp...

Yo!

My goodness.. I'm so frickin tired... it was a pretty chill weekend, except I just recently got CrAzy sick.  I have completely lost my voice and am now feeling like absolute shit.  It was fun tho.  I had a lot of fun at campathon even though I thought it was gonna be super lame. 

Some thoughts..

1.  session people are mad antisocial.  we'd rather do arts and crafts and ignore social interaction with others.

2.  learned a lot about people that i didn't know before.  really cool cuz i have to admit that i didn't expect session peeps to be cool for some reason.  lol.

3.  its gonna be a good week at camp.  i don't think there's anybody in session i dislike... except 1 person lol. 

4.  late nite dinner is always super fun.  hopping fences to get back into sunset rec, completely retarded cuz people would've killed to get the fuck out

5.  you're supposed to give away the stuff you make.  wtf?!  how come nobody told me this before?

6.  cheaters always win

7.  seriously, needa quit smoking

For the most part, I had a good time.  Mad shoutouts to l-ship for letting us chill for the most part.  I really like that. 

Other Thoughts

You ever feel fuckin lonely when you're surrounded by a 100 people?  Damn that's a trip...

love this song... *siGh*